Narcissisism.
Obviously, if anyone is honest enough with themselves, they understand that selfishness is what drives most people to do what they do. It’s a basic survival instinct. I say, ‘obviously’ to challenge your either ignorant or preexisting acknowledgment (known or unknown) of the statement. When a society is early in existence, is this selfish behavior, need to survive, more distinct? I would argue that, yes, it is more distinct. For example, the right in America for a person to own land allows one to provide for himself without hindering anyone else. Say there are people spread across the landscape that own farms. They may have a preexisting notion of what its like to be starving. So this land satisfies their needs. Of course, their needs expand, grow healthier because they are simply unhindered by an outside force or other people. In this example, people, after being in a non-life threatening environment, seek the need to control. Control takes the action of self-defense of ones life and focuses outward. It affects other people. The reason our country is successful, for instance, is because it works against the direct control of one or few over many. Peoples’ need to control supersedes their ambition to sacrifice for the common good (that’s why I don’t like accepting gifts from people who care how the gift is used). As we grow in number as a people, we are faced with different personalities and status on a day-to-day basis. Our need to control drives us to self evaluate our own purpose. In a way, we size up the other players in the game. Its important to realize that people are not going to be honest about thinking this way or desiring control; they might not even think they do it. The farmer from the previous example would not have to worry about hiding his motives. Why? Because, him and other farmers are all just trying to live (simplistic example for an easier metaphor); the threat is obvious, it looms over all the farmers, “farm or die”. Back to the modern, urban, ‘sophisticated’ era. How do people hide their motives? In every action; Acts of kindness are even used as a way to make people trust you so that they can infiltrate your perception of necessity. Here comes the interesting part of my article. People, I believe, have coped with this control issue. How? Its not very obvious, but you will probably agree with me when you read what I am about to say. We deal with it by desensitizing ourselves, disguising vulnerabilities behind pretentious etiquette and passive aggressiveness. It’s not as hard to grasp as you might think. Companies have made million selling ‘the Hollywood experience’ which is, to be successful, one must be desensitized. We are catered to hand and foot. If we want love, for example, we go out flirt, feel wanted, feel important at the ‘hip’(over sexualized and utilitarian) club. The problem of our ever growing, un-needing of opening up to people is the approval and support we get from those same people dissipates. So people say, “Well since I can’t trust everyone, but the people I trust make me happy, I would rather not have to worry about either.” It’s important to bring the relevance of my observation into a more personal experience. The experience of love, and relationships. Up front, people show you who they think you want to see, trying to prove their status. When we all know an honest relationship is more beneficial in the long run. Some people will avoid a good relationship with someone to protect their obsession with being in control. The flaw in our ever-so-brilliant-plot is that by desensitizing we become unsatisfied and unhappy. Of course, who needs to be happy? To quote my brother’s criticism of popular marketing ploys, “There’s an app for that”. The problem is not that we are desensitized, it’s that we are satisfying ourselves with short term pleasures that only grows desire for self gratification. We are all addicted to ourselves. And we think everyone else should be too. So what do you do about it? What do YOU do about YOURSELF? Its not my problem…
Two interesting things inspirations. the first, I was listening to Michael Savage who had just gotten back from a trip to L.A.. He was really impressed with the party scene. He went on to describe how much fun it would have been if he was in his twenties. After explaining its coolness, he criticized the women for overreaching their “partying”. He went on to say, every girl in that place was beautiful, but will never find a decent life with guy after living a “partiers” lifestyle. It’s a shame because beautiful women do have that stigma now…
The second is this video (around 3min30sec)
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pmiCQvSn4Mg]
I am a writer, web developer, photographer and beer-lover. I like to create things and make them work well and efficient.
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