By David Blane


Maybe when we were all little it was a little more harmless to be naive. When you are stopped at stop light with your parents driving you might think, “How would people function with out this magical light?” Well, as we get older our dependency just becomes something you justify. Maybe your pride says, “I could do what this traffic light does, but I don’t have time.”

Well one problem not usually noticed by a child that should probably be noticed by an adult; the problem of nighttime red lights. Often times in the suburbs or even in urban areas, a phenomenon not counted by our genius government, no one is around to stop at the red light but you! One should probably think to himself, “This light must be defective” Because, obviously, the light would normally know how to direct traffic better than the average human right? Well, maybe you should wait for help. You wouldn’t want to disobey the most necessary law of all! And, plus, even though you can see that no one is coming for miles, if light turns green on the other side you could be blind sided and DIE! All of these risks certainly must be taken into account when at a red light. These lights deserve our respect and we owe our lives to them.

But, thank goodness the people in government are smart enough to know the best way to direct traffic or we’d all be lost just like before there were compasses. It sure is a relief to know that if someone runs a red light during this phenomenon they can be fined to save others from their own stupidity right?!

And also, thanks to new camera technology, we don’t even have to argue with cops! we just accept our ticket from the all knowing cameras and be happily on our way. Good thing those cameras are looking out for us.

For goodness sake, run the damn red light at 2 a.m. if it’s pointless.


"Never let the truth get in the way of a good story"

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